Lazy bi**h don't do nothing around here. Smoking up all my sh*t. Eating up all my food. I know one thing:
That hoe better start working overtime if she gonna pay what she owe.
See this is why I don't even wanna fool with these overly emotional bi**hes like J'Lynn. Yeah, she front like she all had and sh*t. Wearing her clothes like these lil thug @ss ni**@s on the corner, but it's cool. I like 'em a little butch. The more masculine they tend to feel, the better they are at eating pu$y. Yes, that bi**h J'Lynn can eat the hell out of some pu$y. Lazy a$ got be good for something.
Gotta hurry up and get this package ready. D-Block will be by here in a minute and I don't feel like putting up with his sh*t. And I still gotta go by my mama's house to pick up my baby. Mama been bi**hin' about him being over there all the time and not doing what mamas are supposed to do. As much as she complain, she still take him. Mama better shut her a$ up. She don't say nothing when I peel her off 5 big face hundreds every month. Better shut the f**k up and play granny.
Wait til this hoe gets here...I got something for her a$$. She wanna be a ni**@, I'm gonna treat her like one.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
A Dog and his Wife (Christine)
The nasty looks I get when I stop by the bank from those bi***es, especially the black ones, are all the attention I need.
They're just looking away as I walk my sweet ass into the lobby, to the elevator, and right into the office of one fine Mr. Roman Bishop.
I may not be what many of them expected. Truth be told, he may not have even told any of them that he was spoken for. No, not spoken for...
I AM MRS. CHRISTINE BISHOP.
Please do not let my small frame fool you. My blond hair does not mean I just lay on my back and let my husband just ejaculate inside me. I do not refer to him as my "king" or bow to him. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband to no end, in spite of his philandering ways.
That's right--I'm not stupid and he isn't fooling anyone.
As much as we used to have sex in college, only for it to drastically cut to few times a month, you think I wouldn't know that he's getting it elsewhere? Mama didn't raise me to be a fool so I suggest not to be taken as one--even by him.
Things can be good some days. Others, not so much. Good thing, I signed that pre-nup before he went off to play ball. So if he wants to dip his stick into some other tramp, he can go right ahead.
That's going to be one very costly condom.
They're just looking away as I walk my sweet ass into the lobby, to the elevator, and right into the office of one fine Mr. Roman Bishop.
I may not be what many of them expected. Truth be told, he may not have even told any of them that he was spoken for. No, not spoken for...
I AM MRS. CHRISTINE BISHOP.
Please do not let my small frame fool you. My blond hair does not mean I just lay on my back and let my husband just ejaculate inside me. I do not refer to him as my "king" or bow to him. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband to no end, in spite of his philandering ways.
That's right--I'm not stupid and he isn't fooling anyone.
As much as we used to have sex in college, only for it to drastically cut to few times a month, you think I wouldn't know that he's getting it elsewhere? Mama didn't raise me to be a fool so I suggest not to be taken as one--even by him.
Things can be good some days. Others, not so much. Good thing, I signed that pre-nup before he went off to play ball. So if he wants to dip his stick into some other tramp, he can go right ahead.
That's going to be one very costly condom.
School Girl Crush (Raven)
I'm a good looking girl...at least I think so. Well, that is basically the general consensus around here. These little 16 and 17 year old boys running around school talking about how much "swag" they got or playing macho games, worrying who has sex with the most girls or who has the biggest rims on a car they begged their older brother/cousin to drive. Even the boys who just graduated, maybe stayed in Georgia and went somewhere like GA State...don't get me started on that.
Immature boys parading around as men, chasing every skirt they see.
At first, I really wanted to believe Dontae Brown was so different. I was smart enough to know better not to date the QB of the football team. But he looked so good...with his nice, white teeth and chiseled abs. He had this slick Southern drawl that made my insides melt and every time he called me "boo" or "Shawty," it reminded me of T.I. And everybody who knows me knows I love me some T.I.
It was only 2 years ago when everybody in Atlanta was looking for him to lead the school to a state championship. Now he's playing at GA State on scholarship, although I have yet to have been invited to a game. I guess he had been having a good season because I read about him in the paper all the time. His team is awful but he does pretty well. Even still, after all this time, it really doesn't feel like WE are going anywhere.
Why?
Look, I'm not stupid. He had all the little chicks on his tip when he was in high school and I don't expect college to be any different. It maybe a few thousand more people, but women are wired the same regardless. A young, healthy piece of dark meat with athletic ability, a killer smile, and intentions of getting some type of education??? They're going to attack that with any and every chance they get. And knowing Dontae like I know him, he welcomes the attention.
People have seen me cry my eyes out and tell my sad story, but I'm a big girl and I am...
Oooh...there he is.
If what I just said made you think my heart raced for Dontae, you haven't seen anything until you've seen Gavin...uh, Mr. Marshall.
OMGeee!!!
He is so fine. It's not just his degree in education, his smooth, copper-toned skin, or the fact that he is just so damn perfect...but the man can play the hell out of the piano.
First time I stepped foot in his class, he was sitting on the bench. He had a low cut, head almost bald. I remember he was wearing some navy pants and this checkered white button down. He was so well put together that his tie and socks matched the stripes on his shirt.
Back to reality, the sexiest sound came from the piano when his fingers tickled the keys. The vibrations touched my inner woman as I felt like I'd cream myself if he would touch me as gracefully as he touched the piano. A few minutes seemed like a trip into forever as he played some old hits that I would only hear the maid play when she is cleaning on the weekends (when my parents aren't home, of course). And then...
He sang...
And quickly Dontae seemed even more second rate.
Immature boys parading around as men, chasing every skirt they see.
At first, I really wanted to believe Dontae Brown was so different. I was smart enough to know better not to date the QB of the football team. But he looked so good...with his nice, white teeth and chiseled abs. He had this slick Southern drawl that made my insides melt and every time he called me "boo" or "Shawty," it reminded me of T.I. And everybody who knows me knows I love me some T.I.
It was only 2 years ago when everybody in Atlanta was looking for him to lead the school to a state championship. Now he's playing at GA State on scholarship, although I have yet to have been invited to a game. I guess he had been having a good season because I read about him in the paper all the time. His team is awful but he does pretty well. Even still, after all this time, it really doesn't feel like WE are going anywhere.
Why?
Look, I'm not stupid. He had all the little chicks on his tip when he was in high school and I don't expect college to be any different. It maybe a few thousand more people, but women are wired the same regardless. A young, healthy piece of dark meat with athletic ability, a killer smile, and intentions of getting some type of education??? They're going to attack that with any and every chance they get. And knowing Dontae like I know him, he welcomes the attention.
People have seen me cry my eyes out and tell my sad story, but I'm a big girl and I am...
Oooh...there he is.
If what I just said made you think my heart raced for Dontae, you haven't seen anything until you've seen Gavin...uh, Mr. Marshall.
OMGeee!!!
He is so fine. It's not just his degree in education, his smooth, copper-toned skin, or the fact that he is just so damn perfect...but the man can play the hell out of the piano.
First time I stepped foot in his class, he was sitting on the bench. He had a low cut, head almost bald. I remember he was wearing some navy pants and this checkered white button down. He was so well put together that his tie and socks matched the stripes on his shirt.
Back to reality, the sexiest sound came from the piano when his fingers tickled the keys. The vibrations touched my inner woman as I felt like I'd cream myself if he would touch me as gracefully as he touched the piano. A few minutes seemed like a trip into forever as he played some old hits that I would only hear the maid play when she is cleaning on the weekends (when my parents aren't home, of course). And then...
He sang...
And quickly Dontae seemed even more second rate.
Monday, March 8, 2010
My Favorite Girl (Gavin)
I love Mallory, but sometimes I think she can be just too out there sometimes. When she first told me that she was going to dance at The Cheetah, I initially had my reservations about it. Guess that's because I had never even set foot in the place. Truth be told, the first time I ever heard about The Cheetah was in some rap song I heard on V-103. But one thing I did know, Mal was a beautiful girl; and if she couldn't wow you with her mind and hustle, she could definitely get you with her good looks.
I wouldn't call it love at first sight, but when I met Mallory Logan at a pool party some 9 years ago, I had no idea she was going to be my best friend or that she would know basically everything about me. Basically, all I really wanted to do was f**k her...and her girl. Man, them hoes was looking so good in their bathing suits. Mallory rocked her natural hair then. It wasn't very long, but it was kinda sexy and kinky. Had this lil slim body with these nice D cups. Friends that know me, know I love me some titties.
Her girl, Jasmine, was getting a lot of the attention though. She was the prettier, taller, more inviting of the two. Long legs, long hair, redbone...as one of my boys put it:
"That bi**h look safe enough. I wouldn't think twice about raw boning that pu$$y."
Sh*t, as a 19 year old, I prolly wouldn't have thought twice either. Jasmine was a video-looking type chick. And while most of the nigs at the party were on Jas, my boy Dane had hopped on Mallory. He might've f**ked that same night too. Kinda dampened my spirits a little, but sh*t happens. It wasn't until we all were together again at another party when she ended up spending the night at my apartment. You know I tried my best to get in them panties, but she gave me some bullsh*t about liking Dane when I knew Dane was really in it for the ass. But contrary to popular belief, I never mentioned Dane's name to try and make myself look better.
And that is where our whirlwind friendship began. Mind you, I've seen Mallory naked on several occasions. And she's seen me assed out as anybody else would be. Slept in the bed naked together. Funny how we never f**ked, but I did break her down and aet the pu$$y in the middle of her bathroom floor. Man, I was so young then. I think she may even have a picture of my d**k saved in her phone somewhere. Yet, we never sealed the deal...and I've remained loyal to her (and she is loyal to me) ever sense.
She inadvertently became my dream girl. Even had chicks I dated that met her to say that. Yet, the life Mal leads tends to be a bit much for me. This sh*t with Bishop....I mean, for goodness sakes, he's a MARRIED MAN!!! And all she can talk about is how much she loves him and how he says he is gonna leave his wife. That's why I'm glad I'm a man. I just think pu$$y secretions emit too much emotion. Then again, it could be the crazy stories she would tell me about how Bishop likes to f**k her at work or how he comes to see her on Tuesday. Told her she was stupid. But Mama always told me:
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
Still, I wouldn't let her fall flat on her face. I would've lead her to the water and drank it first just to make sure it wasn't bad.
Like I said, she had inadvertently became my dream girl.
I wouldn't call it love at first sight, but when I met Mallory Logan at a pool party some 9 years ago, I had no idea she was going to be my best friend or that she would know basically everything about me. Basically, all I really wanted to do was f**k her...and her girl. Man, them hoes was looking so good in their bathing suits. Mallory rocked her natural hair then. It wasn't very long, but it was kinda sexy and kinky. Had this lil slim body with these nice D cups. Friends that know me, know I love me some titties.
Her girl, Jasmine, was getting a lot of the attention though. She was the prettier, taller, more inviting of the two. Long legs, long hair, redbone...as one of my boys put it:
"That bi**h look safe enough. I wouldn't think twice about raw boning that pu$$y."
Sh*t, as a 19 year old, I prolly wouldn't have thought twice either. Jasmine was a video-looking type chick. And while most of the nigs at the party were on Jas, my boy Dane had hopped on Mallory. He might've f**ked that same night too. Kinda dampened my spirits a little, but sh*t happens. It wasn't until we all were together again at another party when she ended up spending the night at my apartment. You know I tried my best to get in them panties, but she gave me some bullsh*t about liking Dane when I knew Dane was really in it for the ass. But contrary to popular belief, I never mentioned Dane's name to try and make myself look better.
And that is where our whirlwind friendship began. Mind you, I've seen Mallory naked on several occasions. And she's seen me assed out as anybody else would be. Slept in the bed naked together. Funny how we never f**ked, but I did break her down and aet the pu$$y in the middle of her bathroom floor. Man, I was so young then. I think she may even have a picture of my d**k saved in her phone somewhere. Yet, we never sealed the deal...and I've remained loyal to her (and she is loyal to me) ever sense.
She inadvertently became my dream girl. Even had chicks I dated that met her to say that. Yet, the life Mal leads tends to be a bit much for me. This sh*t with Bishop....I mean, for goodness sakes, he's a MARRIED MAN!!! And all she can talk about is how much she loves him and how he says he is gonna leave his wife. That's why I'm glad I'm a man. I just think pu$$y secretions emit too much emotion. Then again, it could be the crazy stories she would tell me about how Bishop likes to f**k her at work or how he comes to see her on Tuesday. Told her she was stupid. But Mama always told me:
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
Still, I wouldn't let her fall flat on her face. I would've lead her to the water and drank it first just to make sure it wasn't bad.
Like I said, she had inadvertently became my dream girl.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Live or Die (J'Lynn)
I don't even wanna go into the day I had yesterday. Sometimes, I wonder...if I end it all, will this pain ever stop? Will my life finally take some meaning? Will anyone ever give a damn enough to care? Will Nikki ever stop tormenting me?
Exhale...puff puff...breathe...
Sh*t. B**ch will prolly find some way to beat down my soul even if I had died and gone to hell. If I kill myself, that's prolly where I'm going anyways. Might be some cute, young things up there in the sky, but they'll throw my dyking ass out for chasing all the skirts. A hoe would prolly never get her wings.
Exhale...puff puff...breathe
Who knows...
Exhale...puff puff...breathe...
Sh*t. B**ch will prolly find some way to beat down my soul even if I had died and gone to hell. If I kill myself, that's prolly where I'm going anyways. Might be some cute, young things up there in the sky, but they'll throw my dyking ass out for chasing all the skirts. A hoe would prolly never get her wings.
Exhale...puff puff...breathe
Who knows...
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I know a Lil Freak (Bishop)
Bishop,
Your mission...should you choose to accept it:
Is to f**k that pu$$y....
Tuesday always seems to be my favorite day of the week. I get the chance to get away and play ball with the fellas, but this is "The Day..."
Let me explain to you the concept of "The Day..."
Around 8, I'm normally done playing ball at the YMCA off 285 near Perimeter (Been playing there for about 3 years with some buddies/colleagues from high school). Most of the time I shower before I leave, but by 8:30 at the latest, I'm headed to I-75 to Smyrna...and I live in Alpharetta. Teehee teehee...
When I arrive, not only is a hot meal waiting on me, but some young, hot ass is wet and ready to go when I say go. She knows that when "King Ro" steps in between the walls of her house, her "walls" are coming down.
It don't matter how her day has gone, she is always eager and willing to serve in whatever capacity. And she never fails. Last week, when I got to her place, she had a fresh salad, baked potato, and a juicy, medium-well steak fresh of the grill waiting for me on a silver platter. That's normal for me, but the fact that she intended on serving it to me in a French maid outfit was the real pleasure.
I loved her titties so every time she would lean over my shoulder to ask if I needed anything else, her warm nature would fill up my nose and send a ni**@ in a frenzy. My d**k got so hard but I had to play it cool to see just how much more I could get out of her. She would work her little ass back and forth from the kitchen to the living room of her little studio apartment, serving and teasing and working her feminine wilds. She knew it pleased me. She knew how to keep me well taken care of. She knew I was going to get that pu$$y.
Her lips peeked from underneath her short little dress. Had a ni**@ thinking about hitting it earlier today at lunch but I had some other sh*t to do. But I can wait. Had some of the best ass I ever had and a playa like me been all over hitting ass of every shade. Not just that...the sh*t was just different from the bullsh*t I was dealing with at home. I could barely get Chris to even be at home long enough to cook for me. Been like that for a while. Got me thinking of leaving. Might break Mama's heart, but the bi**h is braking my wallet.
Luckily, I don't have to worry about that sh*t with Mallory. She knows how to take care of her man.
Tuesdays is "The Day"--Our Day.
Your mission...should you choose to accept it:
Is to f**k that pu$$y....
Tuesday always seems to be my favorite day of the week. I get the chance to get away and play ball with the fellas, but this is "The Day..."
Let me explain to you the concept of "The Day..."
Around 8, I'm normally done playing ball at the YMCA off 285 near Perimeter (Been playing there for about 3 years with some buddies/colleagues from high school). Most of the time I shower before I leave, but by 8:30 at the latest, I'm headed to I-75 to Smyrna...and I live in Alpharetta. Teehee teehee...
When I arrive, not only is a hot meal waiting on me, but some young, hot ass is wet and ready to go when I say go. She knows that when "King Ro" steps in between the walls of her house, her "walls" are coming down.
It don't matter how her day has gone, she is always eager and willing to serve in whatever capacity. And she never fails. Last week, when I got to her place, she had a fresh salad, baked potato, and a juicy, medium-well steak fresh of the grill waiting for me on a silver platter. That's normal for me, but the fact that she intended on serving it to me in a French maid outfit was the real pleasure.
I loved her titties so every time she would lean over my shoulder to ask if I needed anything else, her warm nature would fill up my nose and send a ni**@ in a frenzy. My d**k got so hard but I had to play it cool to see just how much more I could get out of her. She would work her little ass back and forth from the kitchen to the living room of her little studio apartment, serving and teasing and working her feminine wilds. She knew it pleased me. She knew how to keep me well taken care of. She knew I was going to get that pu$$y.
Her lips peeked from underneath her short little dress. Had a ni**@ thinking about hitting it earlier today at lunch but I had some other sh*t to do. But I can wait. Had some of the best ass I ever had and a playa like me been all over hitting ass of every shade. Not just that...the sh*t was just different from the bullsh*t I was dealing with at home. I could barely get Chris to even be at home long enough to cook for me. Been like that for a while. Got me thinking of leaving. Might break Mama's heart, but the bi**h is braking my wallet.
Luckily, I don't have to worry about that sh*t with Mallory. She knows how to take care of her man.
Tuesdays is "The Day"--Our Day.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Picture Me Ballin' (Mallory)
A bi**h definitely don't feel like being at work today. Went out last night with my girl, Jasmine. First of all, why the hell do I even go out on Sunday nights anymore? You would think I know better than to be out til 1 or 2 am knowing that I have to get up at 7 to get to work across town, in traffic, at 8:30...
Sorry, Bank of America...It was too many REAL ballin' ass ni**@s out last night and a chick like me definitely ain't gonna miss the chance to find me a full-time sponsor to take care of my serious needs.
So mind you, we down in Atlantic Station doing our "pseudo-girlfriend" thing. We holding hands and what not, hugging real close and giving each other little kisses. Neither one of us is gay or anything, but when you a dancer (as we both are), you come to understand just how beautiful a woman's body really is. Now she works at another club, and actually turned me on to dancing at the club I'm at now.
I think there is a big difference between a stripper and an exotic dancer, but I will sum it up in one sentence...
Strippers get naked cause they ain't sure of other ways to get paid. An exotic dancer uses stripping as a side hustle to add on to the paper she already making.
Dancing was an opportunity to come up for me. I make good enough at the bank, but a bi**h like me got immaculate tastes and being a bookkeeper don't cut it. So believe me, when I'm on stage, shaking these succulent D-cups in the face of some athlete or real estate developer, I'm trying to get money for the long haul to save on top of what I already got. These broke hoes can keep the Louie bags and the Prada pumps. That's nothing. When Magic City start offering they girls a 401K plan, then holla at me.
So back to the story...
We at Twist eating with a very successful NFL player and 2 of his boys (no names. What kinda name dropping chick I look like) and we all just having a blast eating, drinking, and laughing at the thirsty ducks flocking all around us looking for a handout as we live it up. You know one bi**h had the nerve to stop by our table and ask for an autograph? Had you heard his response, you would've died laughing. But what made it more funny as that his boy quacked at that hoe like a duck!!! This chick looked hella sideways when we all busted out laughing.
So after all this eating and drinking, we all a lil tipsy, but I swear if my mind was just as clear as day, I looked back and Vick was just as clearly looking me directly in my eye. That fine, dark ni**@ was looking something good too. I know I love me some Bishop but Vick can toss all kinda touchdowns on this ass.
I fu**ed him something horrible with my eyes. Had he known what I was really thinking, he would've gotten up from his table, rolled to the bathroom, and met ya girl in the stall. He could've easily dropped the bathroom attendant a 100 to put an out of order sign on the door for a few minutes while I "welcomed" Atlanta's favorite QB back home.
Lucky for him, I'm a good girl. Don't put me in the groupie category because a b**ch wanna make a come up. Unlike these simple hoes, I got a plan that don't always involve fu**ing.
Hadn't heard from my man since Friday. I know he said he was gonna play ball with his boys and do some work around the house.
Ooooo...I can't stand to think of him being at home with HER when he should be with me. Then I wouldn't have to hustle. Take care of his mind, body, and soul. Hadn't seen him today though so he may be out the office. Ain't gonna stress it thought. Tomorrow is Tuesday, and if you know like I know, he'll be ready.
F**k, I need to call Gavin and tell him about last night. He could probably use a good laugh. Now, that's my baby. Love him to death...
Sorry, Bank of America...It was too many REAL ballin' ass ni**@s out last night and a chick like me definitely ain't gonna miss the chance to find me a full-time sponsor to take care of my serious needs.
So mind you, we down in Atlantic Station doing our "pseudo-girlfriend" thing. We holding hands and what not, hugging real close and giving each other little kisses. Neither one of us is gay or anything, but when you a dancer (as we both are), you come to understand just how beautiful a woman's body really is. Now she works at another club, and actually turned me on to dancing at the club I'm at now.
I think there is a big difference between a stripper and an exotic dancer, but I will sum it up in one sentence...
Strippers get naked cause they ain't sure of other ways to get paid. An exotic dancer uses stripping as a side hustle to add on to the paper she already making.
Dancing was an opportunity to come up for me. I make good enough at the bank, but a bi**h like me got immaculate tastes and being a bookkeeper don't cut it. So believe me, when I'm on stage, shaking these succulent D-cups in the face of some athlete or real estate developer, I'm trying to get money for the long haul to save on top of what I already got. These broke hoes can keep the Louie bags and the Prada pumps. That's nothing. When Magic City start offering they girls a 401K plan, then holla at me.
So back to the story...
We at Twist eating with a very successful NFL player and 2 of his boys (no names. What kinda name dropping chick I look like) and we all just having a blast eating, drinking, and laughing at the thirsty ducks flocking all around us looking for a handout as we live it up. You know one bi**h had the nerve to stop by our table and ask for an autograph? Had you heard his response, you would've died laughing. But what made it more funny as that his boy quacked at that hoe like a duck!!! This chick looked hella sideways when we all busted out laughing.
So after all this eating and drinking, we all a lil tipsy, but I swear if my mind was just as clear as day, I looked back and Vick was just as clearly looking me directly in my eye. That fine, dark ni**@ was looking something good too. I know I love me some Bishop but Vick can toss all kinda touchdowns on this ass.
I fu**ed him something horrible with my eyes. Had he known what I was really thinking, he would've gotten up from his table, rolled to the bathroom, and met ya girl in the stall. He could've easily dropped the bathroom attendant a 100 to put an out of order sign on the door for a few minutes while I "welcomed" Atlanta's favorite QB back home.
Lucky for him, I'm a good girl. Don't put me in the groupie category because a b**ch wanna make a come up. Unlike these simple hoes, I got a plan that don't always involve fu**ing.
Hadn't heard from my man since Friday. I know he said he was gonna play ball with his boys and do some work around the house.
Ooooo...I can't stand to think of him being at home with HER when he should be with me. Then I wouldn't have to hustle. Take care of his mind, body, and soul. Hadn't seen him today though so he may be out the office. Ain't gonna stress it thought. Tomorrow is Tuesday, and if you know like I know, he'll be ready.
F**k, I need to call Gavin and tell him about last night. He could probably use a good laugh. Now, that's my baby. Love him to death...
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